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Ask Jake, Lou and Tater
- Thread starter bigJake
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bigJake
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come on Gam, you're getting ahead of the story. Aliens never appear til chapter 3
This is so old I almost hate to ask, but I'm going to anyway. Are there rings around Uranus?
Lou
Gamerse
New Member
That's why people come to see my movies, unpredictable....
bigJake
Well-Known Member
what do the Starship Enterprise and toliet paper have in common?
They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.
bigJake
Well-Known Member
Lou, I'm sure hoping the answer isn't Uranus
and the answer is.......................:toetap05::toetap05::toetap05: In the Captain's toilet!!!
Lou
bigJake
Well-Known Member
worst 3rd grade jokes ever
crisso
New Member
oh Lord, I think we're gonna need to rename the thread if you guys keep up....
what do you find in the middle of the battle field? Gomer's Pyle
Gomer and Mr Hudson were very good friends(not that theres anything wrong with that.)
You know they both passed away because of drugs?
They got a bad dose of crack
bigJake
Well-Known Member
they were both born in New Your and reared in Hollywood.
bigJake
Well-Known Member
The Doc says "I know the perfect man to fix this problem. His name is Wally. He works down at the fillin station with Goober. He's a wiz with shopping trolleys (carts). The same thing happened to me last year and Wally fixed it in no time." So the Greeter grabbed his camera to take some pics and took off for the fillin station to see Wally and get that wobbly wheel fixed.
Meanwhile, Jack and Lee had hopped into the General Store, that's the name they came up with for their truck after they painted it orange and put a big "01" on the side. That's cause they spent most of their time in the truck runnin errands fo Ma down to the general store. Of course the general store is really the Walmart but Ma just calls it the general store.
Hank came runnin out of the Walmart just in time to catch a glimps of the General Store as it exited the parking lot. "Dag nabbit" Hank cursed, I must get that skirt back.
hackete
New Member
Jake and Lou,
I have two questions for you.
1. Mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons. So do mothers from Asian countries use toothpicks?
2. Also with hunting season comming up How do they get the deer to cross the road at those yellow signs? I might put one up behind the house so I can hunt off the back porch.
I have two questions for you.
1. Mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons. So do mothers from Asian countries use toothpicks?
2. Also with hunting season comming up How do they get the deer to cross the road at those yellow signs? I might put one up behind the house so I can hunt off the back porch.
crisso
New Member
Hello Mr Hackette.May I call you Buddy.Hows Jethro and Elly-May.
I thought I might help the cousins on this a little bit cause I am a bit closer to the Asian areas.
When you feed one of the littluns,you make sure you dont get to much on the spoon cause they have little gobs and throats.One piece of fruit or vege at a time.Less chance of choking.
Now go to Asia.They are a fair bit smaller than us.They eat rice a lot.Have you ever tried to pick up one grain of rice with a spoon.Mate.It just doesn't happen.Bring on the toothpicks.See! Now they don't choke their kids..
When it comes to the road signs,It's called a squirting thing.
We have kangaroo signs.To get them to cross at the right place,you drink a lot of beer.When the need to wee happens,you whip it out,and start hopping down the road and cross over right at the sign.It may look strange and a few drunks end up with a .38 in their arse.But the Roos usually get the idea as they hop over the bleeding arses.Hope this helps but I am sure the cousin will give you a more local version
I thought I might help the cousins on this a little bit cause I am a bit closer to the Asian areas.
When you feed one of the littluns,you make sure you dont get to much on the spoon cause they have little gobs and throats.One piece of fruit or vege at a time.Less chance of choking.
Now go to Asia.They are a fair bit smaller than us.They eat rice a lot.Have you ever tried to pick up one grain of rice with a spoon.Mate.It just doesn't happen.Bring on the toothpicks.See! Now they don't choke their kids..
When it comes to the road signs,It's called a squirting thing.
We have kangaroo signs.To get them to cross at the right place,you drink a lot of beer.When the need to wee happens,you whip it out,and start hopping down the road and cross over right at the sign.It may look strange and a few drunks end up with a .38 in their arse.But the Roos usually get the idea as they hop over the bleeding arses.Hope this helps but I am sure the cousin will give you a more local version
bigJake
Well-Known Member
Hackete,
For the first question I used to date an Asian girl named Meho so I can tell ya'll that cousin Criss is spot on with his answer on the toothpicks.
For the huntin question I can add a little more. First off, ya know deer can't read, but they know where to cross cause they recognize themselves on the sign. However, couple a years ago poor cousin Gilbert had the same ider about puttin up the deer crossin sign in the back yard. He put it up a couple a weeks before deer season started and it was a workin too. There was deer just all over his yard. Well, the first day a deer season comes and ole Gilbert is sitting on the porch takin aim at a 24 point buck. Biggest buck in the county. Just as Gilbert's about to pull the trigger old widow Hatfield comes a flying down the road to git to the grand opening of the new Walmart. She sees the deer crossin sign in Gilbert's back yard and thinks it must be a new road up to the Walmart, so she comes a flyin up Gilbert's driveway to the back yard and that there 24 point buck is right in her path. Well the widow Hatfield swerves to miss the buck and runs her truck right up onto Gilbert's porch and knocks Gilbert a flyin about 200 feet. Gilbert still walks with a terrible limp and is now a little on the slow side cypherin wise. So's I guess I would have to advise against putting a deer crossin sign in your back yard cause ya never know when the widow Hatfield might be drivin by.
Now ya didn't ask about bear hunting but I'll give ya a tip there too. If yur a drivin to your favorite bear huntin spot and ya see a sign that says "Bear Left", well just turn yur truck around and go right back home cause ya already know there ain't no bear there.
Hope that helps. Come back soon and good luck with winnin that trip to see cousin Criss.
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