Ask Jake, Lou and Tater

[bigJake]

This guy in Bagdad had a contraption in his back yard that went off at a pre-determined time and spread grain on the ground. The deer came running at the sound of this thing, in NY you go to jail for that sh&%! Opening day of deer season he sits in a lawn chair in the back yard waiting for the feeder to go off! What's a groundhog, is that like a woodchuck?

Yes Harry, the groundhog is also known as a woodchuck, whistle-pig, or in some areas as a land-beaver.

I know a guy that puts a salt lick in his backyard on his farm. A herd of deer comes exactly at 6:30 every morning. Then on opening day he goes up in this big elaborate tree "stand". It's actually more of a tree house, with windows and propane heat. Takes his pick of the litter and has his deer by 6:32 and considers himself a great hunter.

Personally I wait by the deer crosssing sign up the road and get mine with the frront of my truck usually by 9:00am.

 

[harryb]

Jake, Gotta wonder how many of these guys would hunt if the deer shot back. Don't get me wrong, I know the population has to be controlled, but some of these guys are ridiculous. I have thirty acres of soybean on my place and the deer live in my driveway two to three months each year and laugh at the guys in their camo with deer urine on their boots. My last deer cost Nationwaide about five grand!

 

[Seadoobuddy]

Nationwaide..........5K explain further please
oh, nationwide the car insurance people????

 

[harryb]

Ok, so I can't spell, where's that spell check when you need it. Yep, got that 6 pointer doing about 60mph with my high beams on, never knew what hit him. Oh yeah, my best friend Dave says that the last land beaver we had around here got arrested for soliciting.

 

[crisso]

How do they get the deer to cross where the sign is???Always wondered that.

 

[crisso]

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump
Our eyes are always the same size from birth,but our nose and ears never stop growing
Eskimo have 32 different words for snow.
Full moons are associated with Halloween.Think again.Full moons on halloween.1925,1944,1955,and 1974.Next one is 2020

 

[bigJake]

How do they get the deer to cross where the sign is???Always wondered that.

Criss, the deer recognize the picture of themselves on the sign

 

[bigJake]

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump
Our eyes are always the same size from birth,but our nose and ears never stop growing
Eskimo have 32 different words for snow.
Full moons are associated with Halloween.Think again.Full moons on halloween.1925,1944,1955,and 1974.Next one is 2020

even lesser known facts:
The cigarette lighter was invented before the cigarette
Elephants can't jump but do play hopscotch.
Obama's ears have grown 20% since he's taken office
I have at least 40 words for snow (Fe'n snow, GD snow, MF snow, are just a few)
I was mooned on halloween in 1955, 1963, 1974, and twice last year

 

[crisso]

:lol:You Dickhead.That was one of the funniest replies I have ever read to ANY post.For all the right reasons.The dog is sitting looking at me with a weird look on it's dial.Like,what's he doing type of look.Me laughing

 

[bigJake]

:lol:You Dickhead.That was one of the funniest replies I have ever read to ANY post.For all the right reasons.The dog is sitting looking at me with a weird look on it's dial.Like,what's he doing type of look.Me laughing

My dog always look at me funny, ever since that time I checked him for testicular cancer lumps.

 

[griz400]

========================

 

[bigJake]

i was going to mention that his nose has grown 2 inches too, like Pinocchio, but was trying to not be overly polictical about the scum sucking socialist that is destroying this country. Just shows how brain dead 51% of this country is. well I do have to admit with the other option being Mccain there wasn't much to choose from but at least pick the best of 2 evils. Plus Sarah is hot, where as Biden is just another dumbass.

This quote from an email I received:
In a bid to stem taxpayer losses for bad loans guaranteed by federal housing agencies Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac, Senator Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) proposed that borrowers be required to make a minimum 5% down payment in order to qualify. His proposal was rejected 57-42 on a Senate party-line vote because, as Senator Chris Dodd (D-Conn) explained, "Passage of such a requirement would restrict home ownership to only those who can afford it."

Well DUH !!!!

 

[griz400]

.............lol........lmao.............

 

[crisso]

Everyone has a favourite or best .What is the best joke you have played on someone.Good or bad

 

[LouDoo]

Criss,

I just posted in another thread. What's all this talk about football. Everybody knows the best football is SEC (South Eastern Conference) football.

Lou

 

[crisso]

Lou Lou Lou.The toughest game of "footy" in the world is rugby or rugby league.No padding,no breaks in play,no bullcrap.Just huge hard hitting tackles and they get up and get on with it.Quick tip.Never pick a fight with a rugby player,Not much hurts them and they drink in packs of about 15.Never a good outcome:cheers:

 

[LouDoo]

Hey Criss,

I bought that ugly Kawasaki jet ski. I think it's a 90 or 91 650SC. Paid $100.00, I still don't know much about it, it's got a 650cc engine, pretty common for early Kawa's.

It has compression, no carb., no title. I'm gonna see if I can find a carb., it's a Klien carb., see if it will run, if it does I'll see about getting a title. If I can't get a title, I'll just take it to my friends farm pond. Or it might wind up on the curb.

 

[bigJake]

Lou, Are you sure that's a jetski. It looks like something from an amusement park ride. Like something me and Sis would ride thru the Tunnell of Love. Ahh what memories.

 

[bigJake]

A pretty good prank

Criss,
Here is a prank I pulled about 30 years ago. I worked with this guy that always carried an umbrella. So one day I emptied the tray from the 3-hole paper punch inside his umbrella and closed it back up. About 2 weeks later he comes into the office one morning and says. Well, I was standing at the bus stop this morning with about 20 people and it started to rain. So I opened up my umbrella....you can imgaine the rest of the story. I got a good laugh. Then I snuck into my bosses office and loaded up his umbrella but he never said anything and I sure wasn't going to ask

 

[LouDoo]

Lou, Are you sure that's a jetski. It looks like something from an amusement park ride. Like something me and Sis would ride thru the Tunnell of Love. Ahh what memories.

It's actually a golf cart for water golf, now all I have to do is wait for someone to invent water golf. Or maybe a water dodgem car.

Also I figured it could be a single seater for Sis. Y'all are just jealous.

Lou

 

[crisso]

Lou
Great idea.Sis would damn near squeeze her backside onto that ski.It's even got room for a box of donuts.
Is it 2 cyl? Premix? Any bike carb might get you going.
Water golf.Most of my golfballs end in the drink

 

[crisso]

Jake.That is A GOOD one.
In Oz.An older name for a dress(30plus years ago) was a frock.Frock,dress,skirt.All the same.
We went to a fancy dress party and a mate went as a Reptile Keeper.He had a rubber snake around his neck and was dressed like a zoo keeper.He got a shoe box.Put some leaves and grass in it.Cut a hole in the end of the shoebox and put a toothless frock lizard inside.He undid the zipper on his pants and in went the "toothless frock lizard".People would ask what was in the shoebox and he would let them look for it.Women were NOT impressed.But we had a laugh

 

[Seadoobuddy]

That was a "HUM Dinger".....did he get a "Woodie" from it?

 

[crisso]

Seadoobuddy.Where in the hell did you dig up the phrase a humdinger?That is very Aussie.You've been on the net.You got it exactly in the correct context.:cheers:

 

[Seadoobuddy]

Jake and Lou aren't the only ones with a cuz in OZ.

Besides we use here too......