Ask Jake, Lou and Tater

[LouDoo]

Here's another one for you guys...

So lately my girlfriend has been working alot of late shifts and the past couple of months she`s been carpooling with a male co-worker. At first I didn`t mind as it saves gas and in case she has car trouble or something like that, but it seems like they`ve become a little more than friends. You know...the phone calls that hang up, she starts wearing nice clothes to work, and talking about him all the time...then abruptly stops, leaving an uncomfortable silence.

If I`m out in the garage when she gets home(usually after midnight) he just drops her off and leaves, but if the lights are off in the garage and I`m in the house (they think I`m sleeping) they sit in the car for about 20 minutes.

I asked her once what they were doing and she said "Just talking". Whatever!

So, last night I decided to see what`s really going on out there. So, I leave the garage door open and turn all the lights off. I go out in the garage and wait. In a few minutes his car pulls into the driveway and as I`m hiding behind my Speedster the headlights shine through my garage and I see something that I just can`t believe.

Theres a spot of missing gel coat on the front edge of the keel! Not real bad, but enough. How long do you think I should let it go before its a big problem ???

Hi Sink,

Well Jake has missed the boat on this one again. I would get some Locktite Marine Epoxy at Lowes and fix the problem now.

As far as you GF goes, the same thing happened to me a few years ago, my wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure miss him.

Lou

 

[LouDoo]

:drool5:

I have a question for you guys. If your significant other allowed you to create a list of 5 people that you would be allowed to have sex with if you ever got the opportunity, who would be on your list?

Jake, Even if I made a list, I don't think I would get past the first one, it's been so long, she'd probably kill me.

Lou

 

[Sink]

When I was young and in my prime, I used to do it all the time. Now that I'm old and grey I only want it twice a day!

Don't need no stinkin list... I was single again (not by choice) and learned you can have most anyone you want... At my age they want it more than I do!

 

[fractus]

This post has gone viral!?

 

[LouDoo]

This post has gone viral!?

I'm not sure what that means? Got any idea Jake, Criss?

Lou

 

[LouDoo]

When I was young and in my prime, I used to do it all the time. Now that I'm old and grey I only want it twice a day!

Don't need no stinkin list... I was single again (not by choice) and learned you can have most anyone you want... At my age they want it more than I do!

Hmm, I think I'm moving to Nebraska. Must be the long cold winters.

Lou

 

[bigJake]

I'm not sure what that means? Got any idea Jake, Criss?

Lou

beats me, last time i had anything that was viral I caught it from Sis.

 

[bigJake]

Hi Sink,

Well Jake has missed the boat on this one again. I would get some Locktite Marine Epoxy at Lowes and fix the problem now.

As far as you GF goes, the same thing happened to me a few years ago, my wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure miss him.

Lou

Lou, I didn't miss the boat, you jumped the gun on fixin it. I figure sooner or later Sink's gonna have to take this guy that's "car poolin" his girlfriend out to the lake and do what we did with that guy that smacked Sis around. You remember what a mess that made of the boat. I didn't want Sink to spend time fixin damage twice.

Sink, ya might as well start preparing now. You're gonna need about 15 feet of really heavy chain, a couple of concrete blocks and a good solid oar. We'll give you further instructions at the appropriate time.

 

[crisso]

Big boobs. How big is big?

Big is when the new baby has stretch marks arounnd it's mouth

 

[hackete]

The elusive Pandacoon.

Everytime me and my cousin start drinking we try and catch a pandacoon. We see them in the woods there usually in tree's and try to pounce us. My question is this...Do pandacoon's exist or did we just drink too much and found a nest of rabid squirrels?

 

[crisso]

This post has gone viral!?

Viral is a thing you get from a rello.Don't you blokes use protection

 

[crisso]

Here down under,We have these drop-bears.You look up.,and one of them bloody things will hit you in the face.Chew your ears off.Bite your eyeballs out and shit inya mouth.It's more than a koala bear.You really don't wont to bend over to smell the flowers

 

[crisso]

I've been a little late to catch some of the ummm smart questions that have been posted.Because of the bloody time difference,see.My cousins are doing a bloody good job.I am gunna give a bloody answer to a decent question.Or I will reply to a bloody stupid question.
Now!If I tell you to "GET STUFFED" I really am only joking.Don't be offended.It's only if I tell you to get stuffed,is when you know I am serious.How thats all clear

 

[crisso]

Just another point.WE DO NOT DRINK BEER.We guzzle it.:cheers:

 

[Sink]

Lou, I didn't miss the boat, you jumped the gun on fixin it. I figure sooner or later Sink's gonna have to take this guy that's "car poolin" his girlfriend out to the lake and do what we did with that guy that smacked Sis around. You remember what a mess that made of the boat. I didn't want Sink to spend time fixin damage twice.

Sink, ya might as well start preparing now. You're gonna need about 15 feet of really heavy chain, a couple of concrete blocks and a good solid oar. We'll give you further instructions at the appropriate time.

Huh? I need chain to fix my boat? I was thinking that epoxy stuff would do the trick! Girlfriend??? I need to find one that can back a boat! Forgedaboutit!

Oh, and you'll find them thar pandacoons living with snipes. They seem to feed on the same things.... Alcohol! But watch out. They BITE!

 

[crisso]

A boat ride is a waste of fuel.Lube him up and tie him in front of the local 'boys' bar.

 

[crisso]

I have a question for you guys. If your significant other allowed you to create a list of 5 people that you would be allowed to have sex with if you ever got the opportunity, who would be on your list?

4 porn stars and the last one would be ,,,,,MISS PIGGY!
After you had finished.You could throw her on the grill and make a great day of it.

 

[LouDoo]

Hey Criss,

Good to see you on here. Your cousin Jake was trying to explain to me the whole space continum thing, hell I got lost at flux capacitor. So is it tomorrow there and yesterday here, or yesterday there and tomorrow here, today here yesterday there?? I'm really confused.

Lou

 

[LouDoo]

The elusive Pandacoon.

Everytime me and my cousin start drinking we try and catch a pandacoon. We see them in the woods there usually in tree's and try to pounce us. My question is this...Do pandacoon's exist or did we just drink too much and found a nest of rabid squirrels?

There is such an animal as the pandacoon, here's a picture of two, it was taken by a drunk sailor in San Diago, CA. (Actually it's a picture of my dogs, but he didn't know the difference).

Lou

 

[LouDoo]

Just another point.WE DO NOT DRINK BEER.We guzzle it.:cheers:

Is that why Australian beer cans are huge?

Lou

 

[bigJake]

Huh? I need chain to fix my boat? I was thinking that epoxy stuff would do the trick! Girlfriend??? I need to find one that can back a boat! Forgedaboutit!

Damn, you cityslickers sure don't know much about boatin. Just how the hell do ya think ya goinna fix your boat with a chain? The chain is for fishin. Since ya got this guy hangin around all the time, you may as well take him fishin with ya. Cousin Criss taught me and Lou how the natives fish down there in that place where it's still yesterdee or tomorrow or whatever the hell it is. Like I already said, ya need to get about 15 feet of heavy chain, a couple a concrete blocks and an oar. Ya take the boat out to your favorite fishin hole and ya tie each end of the chain to one of them there concrete blocks. then ya just wait for a fish to come by and BAM, ya throw one of them concrete blocks in the water and knock that fish senseless (kinda like Lou). The other block keeps the end of the chain from goin overboard. Now me and Lou just got one concrete block so we tie the other end of the chain to Sis. Once that fish gets knocked silly, he'll come floating to the top of the water and ya'll just scoop em out and throw em in the boat. After a minute or two he'll start floppin around and that's what the oar is for. Ya just smack with that oar til he stops floppin. Now when ya pull that concrete block outta the water ya might get a few scratches on your boat. That's why I said not to fix yur boat yet. Lou shoulda known that!

 

[Seadoobuddy]

Why don't you use that fiberglass epoxy on your GF new BF "tell tale pee" hole. That would stuff him up real good.

 

[Sink]

City slicker??? Hmmm... Not me. I's country folk. Dont say Pittsfield on my info page! How about I hit the guy in the head with the oar then tie the chain and cement blocks around his neck and throw it in the lake.... Fish food! Think that would work? I think I'm catchin on here! I love boatin! Or I could sick Sis on him.. that should take care of him!

 

[LouDoo]

I'm hearing what you're saying Sink. The fact is there's red necks every where even on Oz. Right Criss?

Lou

 

[bigJake]

City slicker??? Hmmm... Not me. I's country folk. Dont say Pittsfield on my info page! How about I hit the guy in the head with the oar then tie the chain and cement blocks around his neck and throw it in the lake.... Fish food! Think that would work? I think I'm catchin on here! I love boatin! Or I could sick Sis on him.. that should take care of him!

My profile says Pittsburgh because I'm so far out in the hills and the towns around me are so small and don't have anybody that can read and write so they don't even have official names. Ptttsburgh is the closest town that has a name and it would take Sis at least 3 full days to pull us there on the wagon.