Ask Jake, Lou and Tater

[bigJake]

Sure am sorry to hear about ole Sam. He comes by and plays checkers with Pa on the front porch every Monday night while they drink some shine. Poor Pa's gonna be awlful upset cause Sam owed him $3.00. You think you can git Otis ta come and play checkers with Pa on Mondays?

 

[LouDoo]

Yep, I just seed ole Sam last weak, I took back that there water thing to Lowes, mainly cause you thought I was gettin uppity for buyan stuff in the big city. I done took the money and went down to Druckers and done bought me one there. I wasn't quite the same thing cause the one I had done bought at Lowes was plastic, the only one at Druckers was made outta kast iron, so's it was a tad heaver. Fact is now that Sis can't ride with me no more cause of the extra weight in the back end.

We're gonna miss ole Sam, but we still gots Mr. Haney.

Lou

 

[bigJake]

I knows that Eb is Ma's sisters boy adn Mr Haney is 2nd cuzin, but do ya know if we was kin ta ole Sam. He's been a playin checkers with Pa since we was knee high ta a grass hopper so I just always figured he was kin seein how Pa don't take much fer outsiders.

Glad ta hear ya took that uppity doodad back ta that Lowes store. You knows what Pa says bout if Walmart dont got it then ya don't need it. I guess Mr Haney was kinda like the original Walmart.

Criss and that Tater feller ain't bin round much lately. Wonder if they is gonna go ta Sams funeral.

 

[Dennis]

Sure am sorry to hear about ole Sam. He comes by and plays checkers with Pa on the front porch every Monday night while they drink some shine. Poor Pa's gonna be awlful upset cause Sam owed him $3.00. You think you can git Otis ta come and play checkers with Pa on Mondays?

Deer Jake,
I will ask Otis but he has not been socializin much lately. He has gone crazy ever cents that new girl down at the walmart tuck a fancy to him. Ever time she winks her good eye at him he goes a runnin to her. I worned him of the dangers of datin outside of his kin but he wont heer of it.

Me and Otis

 

[bigJake]

well if she works at the Walmart that means she is probly kin to Me n Lou so wes can vouch fer er. If her good eye is the same side she has the Richard Petty tatoo on, then that's cuzin Betty Lou. She ain't much of a looker but she shure kisses good.

 

[LouDoo]

Hey Jake,

I been a readin in some o them other threads, how some fellers especially one of the Caanadan fellers don't think some of them other fellers talk so gud and its kinda showin up in their writtin.

Don't it make you proud that when we was youngins that ma made us go git some schoolin. Remember the school marm miss crump and how she learned us how to read and writ and even some cipherin. We done graduaded wit honers from the thired grage. I don't matter that it done took us 5 yeers to graduate, that there second grade was rough.

Course cousin criss he do went over to that their australia land had he done learnt hisself some of that there queen's english, course I ain't sayin he's gay or nuthin. Cousin criss he be much smarter than us he got hisself a diploma from the 6 grade.

Iican remember when you and uncle tony done moved to the big city up at that thier pittsville, now yall think you can talk like them city fellers, while im back here in the hollow with ma and pa, just don't forget about your roots.

lou

 

[Dennis]

well if she works at the Walmart that means she is probly kin to Me n Lou so wes can vouch fer er. If her good eye is the same side she has the Richard Petty tatoo on, then that's cuzin Betty Lou. She ain't much of a looker but she shure kisses good.

Deer Jake,

I ast Otis and he sez you is rite. It is on the same side az Petty which iz jest left of Elvis. I want to thank you and Lou fer vouchin' on her. I won't fret so much now.

Me and Otis

 

[bigJake]

Hey fellers, just a checkin in. I been passed out cold fer the past 4 days, think Pa sent me a bad batch a shine. The wife said I was passed out on the bed nekid as jay bird and everytime I would fart bubbles would come out me bum. She said it was a just like watchin that Lawrence Welk feller on the tv before the rabbit ears dun got busted. Sos I was a wundering if maybe Ma borrowed Pas still agin ta mix up a batch of er lye soap.

 

[crisso]

Jake.you dumb bastard.Have you been eatin soap again?We told you last time!Soapy farts DO NOT allow you to say you have washed your undies (underpants).You actually have to take them things off.A tad rinse in some water helps also helps, me has found.(lessens the rash).Remember.NO STARCH this time.You dont want the end of it rubbed off again.I hated putting plasters on that.YEEK!.It kept poking me!

 

[bigJake]

Criss, that brings back childhood memories. Pa called me that so much, I thought my name really was "dumb bastard" til I was 8 years old.

 

[Ronsse610]

helllo, gents! vacation was good, now back to work and boring stuff

 

[bigJake]

well glad ta have ya'll back there Ron. If ya git too bored ya'll jist take a gander at this here:

http://julienki.tumblr.com/post/7661735497/kate-upton-in-slow-motion

 

[LouDoo]

Hi Ron,

You missed the fireworks, I'm not real clear on what happened myself. It appears that Griz got into it with the Jetski Junkies, I only got half the story because I've got most of those guys on my ignore list. Anyway Dr Honda got involved and kinda too JJ's side on this one, Griz got pissed and left the forum and deleted his posts. I've been trying to contact Griz through PM's but I've had no reply's and I don't have his EMail.

Lou

 

[Ronsse610]

haha bigjake, thats what will get me going! and lou, yea sure seems i missed the fireworks, too bad we lost griz....

 

[bigJake]

C'mon back Griz. Sis really misses ya'll. Plus Stiller fans don't take their ball and go home when the game gits tuff, they tighten their chin strap and kick some ass!

 

[Ronsse610]

always wanted to ask jake, whos that in your picture?! haha pretty neat pose

 

[bigJake]

aww, that Lou's old girlfriend, before I hooked him up with Sheridan. She's been hanging with me since Lou dumped er. She ain't bad on the eyes. The wife says I can keep er as long as she does er own laundry. Course she don't wear much so that ain't a big job for me to do er laundry.

 

[Ronsse610]

hahah classic!

 

[Seadoobuddy]

Has anyone heard from good Ole Sink lately?
Maybe his new GF won't let him near a computer.

 

[bigJake]

Hey Lou,
Is you n Sheridan feudin agin?

well I see ya'll made up n she come back.

 

[LouDoo]

Naw, that was Sheridan's Maw, she asked me to put here picture up.

Lou

 

[bigJake]

We was a headed over to the Walmert yesterdee and I is pritty sure I dun saw Pete The Trucker right there on the I80! He dun had a big seadoofourm sticker on the back a his truck.

 

[Ronsse610]

i feel like this thread is dying! lets bring it back to par! where's everybody at, and hows everybody doin!!!

 

[bigJake]

I is here Ron, been havin bit of a rough time the past couple weeks and haven't been up to posting much. I think Lou's upto 10 or 12 skis in his garage now so I guess he is pritty durn busy.

 

[LouDoo]

I only got three in the garage, the rest are out in the barn behind Paw's still.

Did you ever hear of a fuel knob getting plugged up, I always thought it was the fuel selector valve, now I guess I'll have to replace the knob too.

It was 101 here yesterday, has it been hot where y'all are?

Well take care and don't forget to check your compression.

Lou