Andy,
I ache from the laughter, that was very well written.
Anyone who says they don't own a "cheap"(Harbor or not) tool is a liar. I have some of their stuff and use it quite frequently, shit I have a lot of their stuff, you have to be selective. One of my favs is the double flare brake line kit, yet it has lousy reviews. My dad's latest purchase was their Badlands 12K winch. We mounted it to our car trailer for scrapping, the old man was dragging cars that have been sitting at his farm for 20+ years. He drug them out of the dirt holes with the backhoe and winched them--dead weight the wheels don't roll, right onto the car trailer. Got it for $299 how can you beat that.