Lookin like it could be a great day !!!

[bigJake]

Got up to a beautiful sunny sky this morning, first day it's not raining since we got to the lake. Had my coffee, checked the obits and my name wasn't there. Found out our buddy Brock, who we presumed on life support after his re-enactment of the Edmund Fitgerald on the Great Lakes is OK afterall. My bro Lou called and told me that bribing the D.A. worked and the child molestation charges against him have been dropped. Petted the cat and he didn't bite me (first time this week). The skis are all gassed up, batteries are fresh and ready to go for a day on the water. And the most surprising thing is it is noon, and not a single person has called me an a$$hole yet today :thumbsup:

Could turn out to be a hell of a day!

oh oh, got to run, someone is knocking at the door and I looked out the window and there are 3 police cars and a SWAT truck in front of the house... this can't be good...they caught me, they caught the Tater.... later guys. Ride On!!!

 

[Dr Honda]

I was at the IRS office this morning... and the guy I was talking with was nice... and actually used a little lube before starting. I have to go back tomorrow with more papers... but I shouldn't be too sore after it's all done.

So... I guess things could be worse.

 

[bigJake]

I was at the IRS office this morning... and they guy I was talking with was nice... and actually used a little lube before starting. I have to go back tomorrow with more papers... but I shouldn't be too sore after it's all done.

So... I guess things could be worse.

If he lets up on the lube you should report him to the SPCA. Society for the Protection of Cruelty to Assholes. I heard being a sex offender is a prerequisite for being an IRS agent.

If there are any IRS agents reading this, my real name is Warren and I live in Texas. You can find me at the local lake practicing different methods for towing my ski behind me while I swim just in case it breaks down and I can't get the trolling motor that I mounted on the back of the ski running.

P.S. SWAT just lobbed tear gas thru the window, good thing I was prepared with a gas mask. Guess they didn't fall for that story I circulated about the real D.B. Cooper dying

 

[LouDoo]

Well Jake, since it hasn't happened yet today, let me be the first to call you an a$$hole. Now that we got that out of the way go on and have a great day. Say hi to sis.

Tony, you have a great day too, don't worry too much about the IRS, hell you'll be out in 20-30 years, maybe less for good behavior. We'll see you then.

Lou

 

[bigJake]

Well Jake, since it hasn't happened yet today, let me be the first to call you an a$$hole. Now that we got that out of the way go on and have a great day. Say hi to sis.

Tony, you have a great day too, don't worry too much about the IRS, hell you'll be out in 20-30 years, maybe less for good behavior. We'll see you then.

Lou

Thanks Lou, I feel really anxious until I get that first "you're an a$$hole" out of the way. It usually happens by 9:00 so I was getting really edgy.

Tony, If it's REALLY GOOD behavior, the other inmates might want to keep you even longer ! Don't worry we'll keep good care of your toys while you're in the big house. Lou, I got dibs on the plow. We'll look after the shop too. Hey, FREE peehole fittings for everbody !!!! Get em while they are hot.

 

[bigJake]

OK, an update from earlier. So after surviving the tear gas assault I look out the window and see Janet Reno sitting on top of a tank that says ATF on the side and has a flame thrower turret, so now I have no idea whats going on so I sneak out the back door, round the block and come up the street like a bystander and ask what's going on. An ATF guy tells me they found out that a couple of the Branch Davidian kids that were lucky enough to survive the ATF assault on Waco were living in the house and they ran a lemonade stand last year and didn't report the $17.50 they made to the IRS so they were there to take em in dead or alive. I asked are you sure, what address you looking for? Turns out the house they were looking for was 2 blocks over, right next to Randy Weaver's house. Randy moved in there a couple years after an ATF sniper shot and killed his wife and kid as they were standing inside their house. After they recognized their mistake they packed up and moved a couple blocks over and I got to take the ski out. As they were driving away I heard Janet Reno mutter something about hoping this mistake didn't cost her the man of the year award. So long story short, I got to spend some good time on the water.

Again, for anyone wondering, my real name is Warren and I live in Texas.

You are not paranoid if the government really is after you...

 

[LouDoo]

I always thought the BATF, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Was a place where you keep all of your favorite things. I don't think I would want to have to tangle with Janet Reno to get to them, It's like having a pit bull watching your stuff.

I actually look on "asshole" as a term of endearment, some wives call their husbands honey or dear, my wife calls me asshole, it's just a pet name. Sometimes she even calls me "inconsiderate bastard", another term of endearment.

Jake, you can have Mr. Plow. I got dibs on Tony's motorcycle and the XP. We'll also have to change the name to L&J Motorsports.

Lou

 

[bigJake]

I always thought the BATF, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Was a place where you keep all of your favorite things. I don't think I would want to have to tangle with Janet Reno to get to them, It's like having a pit bull watching your stuff.

I actually look on "asshole" as a term of endearment, some wives call their husbands honey or dear, my wife calls me asshole, it's just a pet name. Sometimes she even calls me "inconsiderate bastard", another term of endearment.

Jake, you can have Mr. Plow. I got dibs on Tony's motorcycle and the XP. We'll also have to change the name to L&J Motorsports.

Lou

J & L Motorsports, that way we can just write over the A and not have to buy new business cards
you can have the cycle, I'd just hurt myself on that, ok, you can have the xp, I'll take the polaris. Doc sold the boat right?

Hey seriously though, on that WACO thing years ago - did anyone else see a video clip on the news just a couple hours after it happened that I saw. What I saw was like a 5 second clip of this tank that had penetrated the side of the building and as it backed out there was flame shooting out of the turret. No Shit it was a friggin flame throwing tank. Then after they murdered all those innocent people they concocted the cover story that they all shot one an other in the top of the head and set the building on fire themselves and that video clip of the flame thrower tank seemed to disappear. I know I'm not crazy on this because I did talk to 2 other people at the time who said they saw that clip too and flame was clearly shooting out of the turret.

 

[LouDoo]

I remember Waco, I use to listen to the G Man, G Gordon Liddy, he called the rescue team, the hostage roasting team. He was referring to the flame throwing tank.

I'm thinking what ever happened to that tank, bet you could pick it up at a Govt. surplus auction. It would be great for home defense. I also remember seeing on the History Channel that they had a kit during WWII that you could make a Sherman tank float, would be great at the lake too.

Lou

 

[bigJake]

I remember Waco, I use to listen to the G Man, G Gordon Liddy, he called the rescue team, the hostage roasting team. He was referring to the flame throwing tank.

I'm thinking what ever happened to that tank, bet you could pick it up at a Govt. surplus auction. It would be great for home defense. I also remember seeing on the History Channel that they had a kit during WWII that you could make a Sherman tank float, would be great at the lake too.

Lou

Having a tank in the water would sure take the question out of who has the right of way !

 

[LouDoo]

Especially with a flame thrower.

Hey Jake,

I haven't had time to go over the threads today, just wondering who you pissed off today. I just want you to know that you can't insult me, I'm too dumb to know the difference.

Lou

 

[bigJake]

i think I managed to stay out of trouble today. Like I told ya, I think this x-box generation has been turned into a bunch of drones from too many hours of gripping their joy stick and living in some cyber fantasy world that they've lost their sense of humor.